There has to be some light in the darkness. I'm finally stabilizing just a little... I got my anti-depressant dose leveled out and I'm going to start tapering it down again soon. It's rough. The rebound anxiety is terrible when I get it. I haven't had it for a couple days which is nice. Three nights ago I was in the ER. I thought my heart was failing. I just had a bad bout of anxiety that had acted differently than all my other panic attacks. But they did an EKG and cardio workup and now that I know there is NOTHING wrong with my heart, no abnormalities, healthy blood pressure and everything, I'm no longer scared I'm going to drop dead from a heart attack or something. I've slept well for the past two nights and that's the first in months. Amazing what this did for me... worth the ER trip just to have it out of my head that I was about to die from heart disease. Stupid anxiety... I've always had healthy blood pressure... But the reassurance helped.
Now I'm struggling a bit with some other things but it's slowly getting better. I'm still a wreck. The meds my doctor gave me that should never have been prescribed to someone with MS have left me twitchy with muscle spasms and tics. I jerk way too much. Drawing is so hard.
I have started sketching a little... some OCs from RWBY because I'm really inspired by RWBY right now... it's helped. I haven't been happy with any of them, but my hand is moving. I need to move my hand more to regain stability so I might be able to art again properly.
And I really can't get enough RWBY. Been browsing the Deviantarts looking for fanart and man there are so many awesome pics out there. I love this show so much.
I don't really have anything else at the moment. I'm just happy to have a little good news to share for once. Hopefully I'm not speaking too soon. Which I might be. Because the medical bills are going to eat me and I have lost all of the buffer I'd built up over the past year to paying for medical expenses. Losing my ability to complete freelance art has really crippled me financially at the same time I've gained more medical expenses than I've ever had in my life. But oh well... I'll make it. I always do... It's just been a rough lately.
I hope all of you are doing well. I miss you guys and I hope to be able to frequent this page more again soon.